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Joke of the Day

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... ...then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids. - Jimmy Carr"

"The finebros confiscated my Epi-Pen I was having an allergic reaction."

"If you haven't used your fingers to ""expand"" a picture in a Magazine today, well then you're not me."

"My friend saw the son of god at a brothel yesterday... Or as he called it, the third coming of Jesus."

"For sale: The entire Internet on 33,674,964,367 DVDs. Or without porn, on 54 DVDs."

"I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West."

"Nuts. When you have nuts on the wall they're called walnuts. When you have nuts on your chest they're called chestnuts. When you have nuts on your chin you're called a cocksucker."

"Did you here what the waiter did at the restaurant? He waited"

"Best listener Girl: My boyfriend never listens to me. Friend: You should date a blind mute. Girl: why? Friend: he's all ears"

"(OC) Where did the frog say his family came from? ""They are German and a tad-Polish"""