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Joke of the Day
"Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because he found it soda pressing."
Next Joke
"Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer."
"You know what we used to call vegetarians? Idiots that couldn't hunt or fish."
"Your momma is so old.... she used to get off on fifty slates of grey"
"Which disease do hobbits fear the most? The Bilbonic plague."
"Did you hear the news about the collision between two black holes? It's really making waves."
"Ways Ryan Gosling and I are similar: 1. Up to date on our vaccinations 2. I dunno, that's probably it and I'm not sure about that first one."
"""I hate being half bicycle, half motorcycle"" he moped"
"If she's naming your wedding album on facebook ""wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!"" she's too young for you bro."
"Two antennas got married. The ceremony was nothing to write home about, but the reception was outstanding."