71991

Joke of the Day

"Ways Ryan Gosling and I are similar: 1. Up to date on our vaccinations 2. I dunno, that's probably it and I'm not sure about that first one."

"I already blamed 5 of my problems on Black Lives Matter, 7 on political correctness and 3 on the Ghostbusters reboot. Need more scapegoats."

"Why are campers so predictable? You know they're in tents."

"Saying ""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" means basically the same thing... ...except at a funeral. Edit:Thank you Demitri Martian for the joke"

"If you know I'm I the car and you continue to text me, you basically want me dead..."

"There's a part of me that still loves you. I hit that part with a hammer. Stupid part."

"I'd like to see Batman and Robin fight crime in places that need it the most. ""Hey Batman!"" ""Yeah, Robin?"" ""Didn't we park the Batmobile here?"""

"What do Irish feminists call men? O'Pressors"

"When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich? Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP."

"Trump supporters determined to hack berniesanders.com They're just waiting for their GED results to come in, so they can operate their computers."