149584

Joke of the Day

"Hey, people who act like they're about to fight but are really friends, you are FREAKING the rest of us out."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. First they beat the room for being black, then they arrest the light bulb for being broke."

"Did you hear about the slow chef at the speed bake off? He would have won if he had just a little more thyme."

"My uncle Terry told me not to worry, that love would find a way, but on the other hand he once took a shit in a hammock"

"If Katt Williams had a nickel for every time he's been arrested... He'd put them in a sock and beat someone with it."

"If circumcisions take an hour to complete, how long will you have to work to complete 12? Around the cock"

"Small girl: I'd buy that dog but his legs are too short! Clerk: Too short ? Why all four of them touch the floor."

"Why doesn't Oedipus swear? Because he kisses his mum with that mouth."

"What's a horny pirates worst nightmare? NSFW a sunken chest with no booty!"

"My aunt is trying to convince me that I'm gonna have kids. I named my kittens lunchbox and cocaine Steve. No one is gonna let me have a kid."