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Joke of the Day

"If Katt Williams had a nickel for every time he's been arrested... He'd put them in a sock and beat someone with it."

"*reads own tweet* Haha, so relatable"

"it would be pretty badass if people never stopped growing and old people were like 30 feet tall. anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk"

"What's the difference between Whitney Houston and my car? My car can hit 50"

"Apparently the majority of The United Arab Emirates don't allow The Flintstones to be shown... However Abu Dhabi do."

"Q: Two men drive into a car wash. Which one is the Irishman? A: The one on the motorbike."

"I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: ""What do you do at a red light?"" Me: ""I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."""

"Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing? Because it's non binary"

"Facebook has made me hate birthdays more than funerals."

"Babe.. [gets down on one knee] I'm [gets down on the other knee] so [lays down on belly] tired [zzzzzzzzzz]"