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Joke of the Day

"I tried killing a spider with kindness, but found that a shoe was much more effective"

"My Dad's cat had a hernia operation The cat was laying there next to next to me and I asked "" What did they sew you up with?"" My Dad laughing so hard - as he said ""That's not funny!"" [Cat Gut]"

"A dyslexic man... Walks into a bra."

"What do you call a confused baker? I dough know."

"If you really love someone never let them out your basement."

"I can remember just 10 years ago, I had no idea what to do with all the pictures I took of my lunch. Thanks, Facebook!"

"Me: What does that cloud look like to you? 3-year-old: A cloud. Me: No, what do you imagine it could be? 3-year-old: Rain."

"I like watching horror films behind the sofa. That way my neighbours don't know I'm there."

"I know it's just bad luck that what I post never reaches the front page. After all, I've definitely seen it there before."

"Getting married lost its appeal as soon as I figured out that acquiring a maid of honor wasn't going to get my floors washed."