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Joke of the Day

"How did Skrillex get Potassium Hydroxide all over the floor? He dropped the base."

"If you told me in 1995 that you had to use an mp3 player to copy programs to a telephone in the future, I'd assume you had brain damage"

"Q: Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake? A: It did $100 million worth of improvements."

"What do you call an Itallian hooker? A pasta-tuite!"

"Who is the biggest singer right now? Ariana Grande"

"If you're having relationship problems, confess to God not Facebook."

"Two muffins are baking in the oven, one muffin turns to the other muffin and says ""man its getting hot in here"" and the other muffin turns back to him and yells "" ahhh!!! a talking muffin!!"""

"Why do frat bros hate fruit loops? They're eternally disappointed by two-can Sam."

"God, the Atheists are coming! God: ""Tell them I'm not around!"""

"I actually like the smell of moth balls, but it's so hard to hold them still without hurting their little wings."