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Joke of the Day

"Foreigner? Why not fist her? Badoom TSSSSssT! (Say it out loud)"

"Taking that CPR class before Highschool... Led me to believe that choking and strokes would have occurred more often that I thought."

"The view of your Bedroom is perfect from this tree!"

"*rings doorbell* hmm... not sure if it rang *waits 2 hours before ringing again so I don't seem impatient*"

"The Texas Rangers made it to the World Series? I didn't even know Chuck Norris had a baseball team."

"I want to work in salon.. So I can get paid to give facials"

"R2-D2 was the most vulgar movie character of all time... They bleeped out every word he said!"

"Why did Russia sign the non-aggression pact with NazI Germany? They were Stalin for time."

"You know you're fat when when... Your penis is an *innie*."

"*boss walks in Me: I lost my contact Boss: Why are you naked & why is Greg under your desk? Me: Boss: Me: Shut the door when you leave"