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Joke of the Day

"*tries online dating* Oh...oh no *tries real life dating* Ok this is actually worse somehow"

"The maple leafs are my favourite curling team Always sliding down the ice bumping into the walls and never hitting the bullseye."

"Why don't Mexicans take drivers Ed and sex Ed on the same day? They have to give the donkey a break."

"So 3, 4, and 5 fell down a flight of stairs... Now they're a Pythagorean cripple."

"Boy: Did you know you can get fur from a three headed mountain monster? Girl: Really? What kind of fur? Boy: As fur away as possible!"

"What do tornadoes and blondes have in common? When they show up there's a lot of sucking and blowing, but when they're gone, your house and car are gone too."

"If a party with all dudes is called a ""sausage fest"", I request that we start calling all girl parties ""taco time""."

"What do you call Santa's wife? Mrs Claus. I'll see myself out."

"I don't like lollipop ladies... They make me cross."

"Yesterday I had to buy a new hoover. My old one was just gathering dust."