180860

Joke of the Day

"What do you call Santa's wife? Mrs Claus. I'll see myself out."

"I'm half black... Bottom half"

"Q: Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar? A: He wanted to take a month off."

"How did the astrologer cross the road? In his Taurus!"

"How many of you have awakened with your spouse holding your hand only to find they are putting your thumb on your iPhone trying to break in?"

"A hot girl goes to confession She says ""father, I had sex out of wedlock"" The priest says ""pics or it didn't happen"""

"Yo son, do you like nachos? ""Hell yeah!"" *son goes in for high 5* That's good, 'cause I'm nacho real dad *rejects high 5* You're adopted lol"

"They say treat others how you would like to be treated. Now I have to go out on a date with a guy and treat him like a princess."

"My standards are so high they just recorded a reggae song."

"SORRY I GOT IN THE VAN AND ATE ALL OF THE CANDY AND NOW YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ME."