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Joke of the Day

"Why don't Mexicans take drivers Ed and sex Ed on the same day? They have to give the donkey a break."

"If you are on a low-sodium diet avoid my twitter because I AM VERY SALTY TODAY."

"Why is it so hard to pull over on the Pirate Highway? Because there's a parrot on the shoulder."

"Never trust an atom... They make up everything."

"What was the name of the knight who sat all the way around the Round Table? Sir Cumference."

"What is the only inedible part of a vegetable? The wheelchair"

"Doctor: I'm sorry son, it appears you have... Jenga-itis Me: [trying to pull the doctor's shoes off without him falling over] is it bad?"

"Did you hear about the broken watch from the 1800's? It was a timeless classic."

"Confucius say... Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day."

"You know why when you look up and see birds flying in a V pattern, one side seems longer than the other? More birds on that side."