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Joke of the Day

"What would you call the mailman if he got fired? I don't know, just some dude."

"Boy comes home from school, tells his dad he had sex with his teacher The father grins, ""that's my boy. Will you do it again?"" Boy ""yes, as soon as my bottom stops hurting"""

"Why do people wear sleeveless shirts? They like to express the right to bear arms."

"How does an octopus go to war? Well-Armed"

"I am all for self-belief, self-worth, self-esteem but a woman declaring herself hot and complementing herself on her own beauty smacks of serious desperation, delusion and self-conceit."

"ESPN just did a Top 5 Greatest Comebacks of All Time and there was some guy running with a ball but like literally no mention of Jesus"

"All about a Girl and you...! If girl is with you - Restaurant Bill If girl is far from you - Mobile bill If girl is separated from you - Than Bar Bill. Moral - No Girl - No Bills!"

"My son asked if masturbating made you blind. Depends on where you're aiming."

"What's common between American beer and making love in a canoe? It's fucking close to water."

"Most laughs that you hear on TV shows today, were recorded in the 1950's. Means, technically, you're likely hearing dead people laughing."