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Joke of the Day

"Most laughs that you hear on TV shows today, were recorded in the 1950's. Means, technically, you're likely hearing dead people laughing."

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"A baby seal walks into a bar No, wait. A baby seal walks into a club."
"In June of last year, a beautiful woman on the subway saw me yawn & then she yawned. So I think we can cool it with the ""virgin"" talk."
"Why does Jesus perform miracles on quadriplegics? He can't fuckin stand 'em."
"[NSFW] If you can only say nigger if you're black I guess I'm black now?"
"So, 50 Cent is accepting Bitcoin for his new album. Which is all well and good, but if he really wanted to court the cryptocurrency community, he should change his stage name to 0.0007745 ."
"Why was the socialist kicked from his party? Because he was anti social."
"Lately I've gotten into donkey porn... ...it really gets MEEE OFFFFF!"
"TIL something incredibly shocking about Germany's former Chancellor... ...he was **literally** Hitler"