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Joke of the Day

"How did they improve the transportation in Harlem? Moved the trees closer together."

"What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet? A holy terror."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth Get out of the way your in my light!"

"Pretty sure I just heard a grown man wrestle a bear in a bathroom stall at Chipotle."

"My love is like a candle... (Fixed) http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/32850407.jpg"

"""Lady In Red"" is my favorite song about a guy that's trying to get laid even though he can't remember her goddamn name."

"I was going to spend the next 6 years studying medicine to become a doctor. Then I realized I could just like Facebook photos to save lives."

"DATING TIP: Any time someone is hot and you're too scared to approach them, remind yourself that they've probably had diarrhea at some point"

"I've decided to avoid Turkey this Thanksgiving... Way too close to Syria."

"Cashier: do you need bags? Me: do any of us NEED anything? Cashier: sir, I have a liberal arts degree too Me: plastic please"