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Joke of the Day

"How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Enough to lower your standards, I'm moonsout_goonsout"

"I stole a seat from an old man and he remarked, ""Chivalry is Dead"". I said, ""I'm sorry, I didn't know. He wasn't even trending on Twitter""."

"Cops said my blood alcohol level was above the legal limit which is crazy because I don't even drink blood alcohol."

"What happened to the cant when it ate a ball of wool? What happened to the cat when it ate a ball of wool? It had mittens"

"Me: ""I'm looking for a psychic who rates themselves highly."" Ian: ""I'm a medium."" Me: ""I need someone better than that."""

"What type of pussy does a priest get? nun"

"How do you get out of a Russian prison? You have Vladmir Putin a word for you."

"Whats the Diffrence Between Hitler and Usain Bolt? One can acctualy finish a race"

"We all know that 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, but do you know why 9 is afraid of 6? Because she bit his dick last time"

"What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes."