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Joke of the Day
"How do you make holy water? Fill a container and boil the hell out of it"
Next Joke
"One time I was checking out this really hot girl and she paid me for it because I was a grocery store cashier."
"Spelling is very important in cosmetic surgery no one wants buttocks injected into their face"
"What do you call a vaping vegan? A steamed vegetable"
"Me: Choose a mate who loves & respects their mom, but isn't overly dependent on her. Lady: These are 4th graders- Me: THEY NEED TO KNOW THIS"
"""You can't stand there."" ""Not there, either."" ""Nope that spot's taken, too."" -Ground hogs"
"What do you do with an epileptic in a bathtub? Laundry."
"I hate people who... I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious."
"I wish lap dance minutes felt like treadmill minutes."
"Every morning I wake up super pissed at my parents because I have to go to work instead of living off a trust fund."