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Joke of the Day

"Got a text from my girlfriend, thespacebuttonisfaultyonthisphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative.' I wonder what ternative' means?"

Next Joke
 
"My friend really likes to have sex with people. I guess it's the teenage whoremones."
"How do you make someone holy? You beat the hell out of them"
"I may not be the best looking, wittiest, smartest or even the most successful person. I forget where I was going with this."
"Why did the existential nihilist cross the road? Who cares."
"And then Satan whispered, hey let's put the alphabet in math"
"What do Iron Man's giggles sound like when he's sucking on a helium balloon? He fe he fe he fe."
"What's your best limerick? There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini"
"My laptop said hello to me.... I think it's ""a Dell"""
"I always bring 2 pop tarts to work, so I can eat one now and the other one also now."
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