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Joke of the Day

"What do Iron Man's giggles sound like when he's sucking on a helium balloon? He fe he fe he fe."

"We need to stop ISIS. Then we can call them WASWAS."

"Did you hear about the horror movie set in a campground? It was in tents."

"Heidi Klum was waiting for a call from Donald Trump She never got it.. His phone was only 99.99% charged so he couldn't do it."

"I feel like a crushed Coke can on the sidewalk. Soda pressed."

"I haven't been doing so well at the poop assembly line... My manager said if I don't pull my shit together soon I'll be fired."

"You know you're too drunk to drive when you swerve to miss a tree then realise it was your air freshener."

"I've been teaching myself giutar I still get the U and I mixed up sometimes but I'm getting pretty good.."

"The Koreans were printing with movable type in 1403. I was in 1402 and the noise kept me awake all night. - from MASH"

"I got 99 problems and being attractive could solve at least 30 of them."