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Joke of the Day

"Make her feel like she's the only woman on earth. Because nothing makes women happier than feeling like all other women are dead."

"Cockroach logic A cockroach can make your girl scream louder than you can. Hence the first part of its name."

"I keep waiting for a musical montage to start so I can do something awesome."

"Doctor Doctor I've lost my memory! When did this happen? When did what happen?"

"The whole ""bad boy"" thing is fun until you have kids with him. Ooh you drank away the diaper money? That's soooo hot"

"My Lecturer asked me why i was failing my class ""Is it ignorance or apathy?"", he said. Honestly, I don't know and I don't care."

"What do you call Tums in suppository form? Bums"

"What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive. "

"If my son's science project is to see how annoying he can be before I kill him then he's almost done."

"What's the difference between a man and a woman? A vas deferens."