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Joke of the Day

"My Lecturer asked me why i was failing my class ""Is it ignorance or apathy?"", he said. Honestly, I don't know and I don't care."

"A warlock cursed me to forever be standing in line behind people trying to remember the name of a movie, and I know exactly what movie it is"

"How Do You Kill a Trumpet Player? You shove then off their ego!"

"Can you honor Maya Angelou by not pretending that you knew much about her?"

"A republican posts in /r/politics..."

"When I'm backing out of a parking spot I like to just close my eyes and gun it because anythings possible through Jesus Christ"

"If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious."

"Why did Baby Moses believe he was Egyptian? Because he was in da Nile."

"Airport moving sidewalks are great for when you only want to feel like George Jetson for 10 seconds before you're back to Fred Flintstone."

"Lesbian Pick Up Line ""Hey girl, you wanna go swimming? We can do the scissor kick."""