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Joke of the Day

"Everyone's unique! For instance, I like milk in my coffee, but other people are dying of malnutrition."

"""I hate this quilt."" - my wife, a person capable of hating a quilt"

"I want to buy a Tesla Coil. Shocking, I know... But I feel really energetic around them."

"What does your mom and a rain forest have in common? If you look deep enough in the bush, you might find a cockatoo."

"<joke> ""Punchline"" is not an internal or external command. Attempting a continue... C:\Windows\System32\ taskkill /IM joke.exe </joke>"

"My girlfriend said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkees. I thought she was joking. Then I saw her face..."

"You don't need a parachute to skydive... You only need a parachute to skydive twice."

"Two guys are talking: (1) - I've bought a tour to my mother-in-law. (2) - Your mother-in-law???!!! (1) - Why not to Bagdad."

"I'm on a seafood diet I sea food and I eat it."

"I'm reading a book about sufferers of tourettes syndrome... I want to know what makes them tic."