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Joke of the Day

"I want to buy a Tesla Coil. Shocking, I know... But I feel really energetic around them."

"I can't wait 'til my kids leave home. I've got so much swearing to catch up on."

"I invented a new word! Plagiarism!"

"So my neighbor knocks on my door. So my neighbor knocks on my door at 2:30am last night. 2:30AM!!! Can you believe it?!!? Lucky for him, I was up playing my drums."

"Who the hell called it 69ing... Instead of cuddlingus."

"I could argue that someone passing out in the punchline enhances the joke, but that would be faint praise indeed."

"Giving people the finger while driving just isn't effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed."

"I was walking down the road when I ... ...saw an Afghan bloke standing on a 5th floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him""Whats up, Abdul, wont it start?"""

"I'm a real gym rat (i go there at night and eat their garbage)"

"In Britain, Brexit means Brexit... and Trump means fart."