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Joke of the Day

"Beyonce's birthday list: 1) The (former) planet Pluto 2) Maybach factory 3) The Taj Mahal 4) Lost city of Atlantis 5) Facebook"

"Pro Tip: If you see a girl shake the gas nozzle after filling up, she's got a wiener."

"Studies show that one in two and a half men are HIV Positive You can thank Charlie Sheen for that"

"What's the difference between a mouth and an asshole?..... Some people can't figure out which one to speak out of."

"Did you hear about the Pirate suffering from scurvy? His attempts to cure it were *fruitless*."

"What does a man with a 10 inch dick have for breakfast? Well, this morning I had bacon, eggs, juice..."

"Someone told me to make a philosphy joke. My response: I Kant."

"A man with goat legs and horns walks into a bar... It's only Satyr"

"This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she's not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!"

"Scariest thing ever The scariest thing in the world is waking up with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. I was so scared I almost swerved off the road!"