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Joke of the Day

"Beyonce's birthday list: 1) The (former) planet Pluto 2) Maybach factory 3) The Taj Mahal 4) Lost city of Atlantis 5) Facebook"

"The year is 2030: All corporations have merged and every night before bed you say a prayer to your cable company."

"Why aren't there any ""old husband tales""? There are. They just get re-branded as ""logic"" and ""the truth""."

"Relationship status: I just found a piece of chicken in my hair. I ate it. Then looked for more."

"I like to squat down, wrap my arms around my knees, and lean forward. That's how I roll..."

"What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? The Mercedes can easily reach 40."

"How do you know when you're at a gay picnic? The hotdogs taste like shit."

"What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese."

"You are the reason Santa even has a naughty list."

"During sex it's perfectly fine to say 'yeah', 'yes', 'oh yes'..but how awkward would it be if someone kept screaming 'Yep' .."