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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? The Mercedes can easily reach 40."

"Have you ever heard of the s-shaped well? It's pretty swell. And I would tell you about the d-shaped well, but I'd rather not dwell on it."

"I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far."

"Will a rabbi charge a lot for circumcisions? No. He just keeps the tips."

"People tend to put their faith in a higher power. But to me that's just a primitive solution."

"Saw a bumper sticker that said 'Jesus is the answer.' Two cars later I saw one that said 'Who farted?' Best game of Highway Jeopardy ever."

"two guys talking.... Guy one: I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally peed in her. Now she won't talk to me. Guy two: Sounds like urine trouble."

"When people say ""You look so familiar"" responding with ""Were we in prison together?"" is almost always a conversation killer."

"How many metal heads does it take to change a light bulb? None. Darkness foreverrrr!"

"My cat constantly looks at me like I asked her to give me a ride to the airport."