177119

Joke of the Day

"Don't just be one of those people who stares at their phone or computer twelve hours a day. It's important to also watch some TV."

"I only drink twice a year When it's my birthday, and when it's not"

"Having an elliptical in my living room has improved my health. Moving it out of the way when I lay down to watch TV burns like 25 calories"

"How does every racist joke begin? With a look over the shoulder."

"Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde? A: One's a phony buck."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat The Wheelchair Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat, The wheelchair"

"This guy just scrolls through his Facebook page... And then he notices that ""Steve (Minecraft) has blocked you."""

"My son keeps putting out the fire in the fireplace Should I take him out of there?"

"""Police! Open up!"" ""No, you're gonna yell at me"""

"When I was a kid... ... I asked my mum what a couple was and she said, 'Oh, two or three'. And she wonders why her marriage didn't work out."