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Joke of the Day

"Buying In Bulk In theory: Oh good, I'll have enough chips to last all month In reality: I'm gonna eat 5 family size bags of chips tonight"

"A structural engineer walked into a bar... ...this is when he realised his building design was flawed."

"How many pretty girls are there at a monastery? Nun."

"Wanna know something about whiteboards? They're remarkable."

"Doctor: I'm sorry, but your Dad's in a coma. Teen: Huh? Doctor: He's in airplane mode now. Teen: OHHH NOOOOO!!"

"My wife is enjoying the attention I've been giving her lately & though painting a phone on her face is inconvenient, it's saved our marriage"

"I'm sorry I jumped on you, from a distance you looked like a conclusion."

"This year I'll avoid all the trouble of taking down my Christmas lights... I'll just turn my house into an Italian restaurant."

"Did you hear about the two car pile up in Mexico? 200 people died."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp? He bought a warehouse."