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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: I'm sorry, but your Dad's in a coma. Teen: Huh? Doctor: He's in airplane mode now. Teen: OHHH NOOOOO!!"

"What Do You Call A Dead Redditor? [REMOVED]"

"""Hands up, don't shoot!"" cried the protester ""Take what you want, just don't kill me"" whimpered the store manager, dropping his gun and ending the terse standoff."

"I bet if Jimmy cracked YOUR corn you'd care, you selfish son of a bitch."

"What did Death say when his furniture was repossessed? There will be reapercushions."

"Has anyone out there tried ""Starbucks"" coffee? It's really good. I think that they have a location in LA."

"Iv'e never been so proud of myself.. Just completed a jigsaw puzzle in 8 days.. It said 3-4 years on the box!!"

"Did you hear about the italian chef? He pasta way"

"My penis is so big... the only relationships I can have are long distance"

"Teacher and student Chemistry teacher: Did you know protons have mass? Student: I didn't even know they were catholics."