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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: I'm sorry, but your Dad's in a coma. Teen: Huh? Doctor: He's in airplane mode now. Teen: OHHH NOOOOO!!"

"What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice."

"How long does Netflix have to be down before they send someone to your house to stroke your hair & tell you everything's going to be alright"

"I'd stage an angry protest against Scott Brown & the death of health care reform, but I can't afford to get hurt."

"So I slept with your daughter last night. She has a tiny dick though."

"What was Carl Sagan's favorite drink? Cosmos."

"What was the slutty nurse looking for in October? A Hallowiener."

"There's a band called 1023 MB. They haven't had a gig yet."

"Why is the Ocean Salty? Because the Beach didn't wave back."

"What did one amputee say to the other? I'm as stumped as you are!"