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Joke of the Day

"My friend is anti-semantic... He never writes anymore edit: (semantic refers to words for those who don't get it.)"

"""Let's get this show on the road."" ~ Guy who invented parades"

"How does the sexiest man in the world tell a joke? Like this."

"Dating tip: Walk up to a girl in a club, smile, look into her eyes, take her hand and walk away. If she wants her hand back, she'll find you"

"What do you get when you cross a sled dog with an elephant? A tusky!"

"Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant's toes? A: Slow clowns."

"I just burned 2000 calories! That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven and take a nap."

"My grandma is going to vote for Hillary... She's been dead since 82."

"I dig, You dig, we dig, he digs, she digs, they dig. It's not a good poem, but it's deep."

"America as a whole is pretty bad at geometry... We're all out of shape."