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Joke of the Day

"Dating tip: Walk up to a girl in a club, smile, look into her eyes, take her hand and walk away. If she wants her hand back, she'll find you"

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"Can't believe my daughter said I was embarrassing her by trying to be cool. She needs to check the tude & stop being so wiggity wiggity wack"
"Life with me is like a box of chocolates. You never know when you're going to get the crazy one filled with arsenic."
"I'm in Germany. Time to drink precisely one bier (beer) and call every man ""Hans"""
"He: How are you? Me: Thanks, but I'm too old for you He: I was going to ask about your wireless prov... Me: Just keep telling yourself that"
"What do poor people drink? Pover-tea."
"What do you call a chihuahua with a rainbow colored fur? Chihuehue"
"""i'll be back"" --arnold schwarzenegger getting into a 2-man horse costume"
"I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis."
"What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? Dead ant Dead ant Dead ant dead ant dead ant Dead ant dead annnnnnt Dead ant"