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Joke of the Day

"Why do programmers like to concatenate time stamps? It's the only way they can get a string of dates."

"If plan A didn't work... Try Plan B. If Plan B didn't work either, congratulations, You're a parent!"

"A Hippopotamus wanted to go to College to become a Neurologist... ...but he couldn't find the Hippocampus."

"ME: I want the car's brake lines to rust SCIENTIST: I'm listening ME: [slides over envelope full of cash] But make it look like an oxidant"

"Why didn't the Romans find algebra very challenging? Because X was always 10"

"I'm not going to masturbate for the rest of the year Three more hours to go."

"Throwing a surprise party for my girlfriend so just remember that on the count of three we all yell ""SURPRISE YOU'RE ERIC'S GIRLFRIEND"""

"Turned off my lights for ""earth hour"". I've never had so many other cars honking at me."

"Why is Oklahoma so windy? Because Texas sucks and Kansas blows!"

"How can you get rich by eating? Eat fortune cookies."