199556

Joke of the Day

"ME: I want the car's brake lines to rust SCIENTIST: I'm listening ME: [slides over envelope full of cash] But make it look like an oxidant"

"My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves."

"I'll pay full price for the next iPhone if the only change they make to it is erasing ""ducking"" from the autocorrect."

"The Disturbing Reason Why the Chicken Crossed the Road Will Change Your Life Forever... ...It was good for traffic."

"What eye cannot see, cannot blink and is bleeding? The browneye. You'll have to guess why its bleeding."

"I never know what to do with my hands during pictures, so I get it gang members, I totally get it."

"What does a pig use for his skin? Oinkment."

"Why was the mentally challenged midget crying? He was a little down."

"funny Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter? A: It's too far to walk."

"i hate to get political on here but like honestly smokin weed is frickin sweet as hell ha ha"