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Joke of the Day

"Throwing a surprise party for my girlfriend so just remember that on the count of three we all yell ""SURPRISE YOU'RE ERIC'S GIRLFRIEND"""

"They say pizza is like sex... Even when it's bad you can still put your dick in it."

"Why are mountains so funny? Because they're hill areas....sorry I had to share this cheesy joke I just overheard my coworker tell."

"[pitching script] WRITER: then the motorcyclist removes their helmet... PRODUCER: *yawns*...and its a woman? W: it's a burrito P: holy shit"

"When I open the washing machine lid mid-cycle, I feel like I've entered a party where everybody suddenly stops dancing and stares at me."

"Put on sunglasses. Now run past a crowd of people with your index finger on your ear screaming ""SNIPER HAS BEEN SPOTTED SIR"""

"They say that blondes are dumb, but I've gotten a brunette to marry me too."

"What do you call a sexually-confused Arctic Circle? Bi-polar"

"Did you hear about the gardener that had an aneurysm? He's currently in a vegetative-state."

"What's the difference between a cactus and a schoolbus? Cactus has little pricks on the outside"