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Joke of the Day

"Throwing a surprise party for my girlfriend so just remember that on the count of three we all yell ""SURPRISE YOU'RE ERIC'S GIRLFRIEND"""

"Why doesn't Justin Bieber shop at Sports Authority? Cuz he likes Dicks."

"*knocks on woman's washroom* Hello anyone in here? *no one answers* *runs in & lifts up every toilet seat* HAHAHA *runs away giggling*"

"Did you hear about the sewer line breaking during a funeral earlier? It was a shitty mourning."

"I was born in the USA... ..some parts imported from China, though."

"trolls have found a terrible new way to antagonize me. it is called ""retweeting"" and it works by exposing my posts to scammers & crumb bums."

"What do T-Rex's do for a living? They're small arms dealers."

"A lion would never (Old joke) A Lion would never cheat on its wife but a Tiger wood."

"Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines."

"""LOLZ""? Really? Did you laugh so loud you fell asleep?"