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Joke of the Day

"What did the other traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look! I'm changing!"

"Difference between inlaw and vultures What is the difference between in-law and vultures? - Vultures attack first, when you are dead. edit: In-law mean's ''Girlfriend/boyfriend's mother''"

"my mate rang me earlier.... My mate rang me earlier and says ""Hey dude, what you up to?"" ""Probably failing my driving test"" I say"

"How do you know when... ... a blonde has been using the computer? There's white-out on the screen. How do you know when a brunette used the computer after a blonde? There's writing on the white-out."

"Listening to Jay-Z has literally taught me everything I know about whether or not a cop can legally search my car."

"This girl on Facebook is dying her hair blonde tonight. Omg she's nervous, you guys."

"How did the aliens hurt the farmer? They trod on his corn."

"When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say ""thank you""? ...instead of all this ""how did you get in to my house?"" calling 9-11 business."

"God said unto John... ""John if you come fourth you shall receive eternal life!"" But John came fifth and won a toaster"

"Border Patrol never did chase down that illegal baby food smuggler from Mexico. I heard he was so fast they nicknamed him Formula Juan."