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Joke of the Day

"Difference between inlaw and vultures What is the difference between in-law and vultures? - Vultures attack first, when you are dead. edit: In-law mean's ''Girlfriend/boyfriend's mother''"

"Did you hear the one with the baby that had AIDS? Never gets old."

"When abroad, James Bond is known as +44 07"

"Some people have difficulties sleeping... but I can do it with my eyes closed."

"Do those ""selfie sticks"" retract, or do you just have to walk around like a doofus with a stick all day?"

"My girlfriend loves kinky sex. [nsfw] My girlfriend loves kinky sex. She says going down on me makes her day, butt sex makes her hole weak."

"What's the difference between a virgin and a lightbulb? You can un-screw a lightbulb."

"Why couldn't the skeleton pay his bus fare? Because he was skint."

"if you come into a restroom & announce that you've ""had to piss for two hours"" I'd better hear a strong, frothy stream for at least a minute"

"- Dad, why don't we visit Greece to see pyramids? - Son, why don't we visit school to see your geography teacher?"