32141

Joke of the Day

"God said unto John... ""John if you come fourth you shall receive eternal life!"" But John came fifth and won a toaster"

"these raccoons are a bad influence on me"

"I told my hairdresser to just take a little bit off the top... It makes me more relaxed when I can see her breasts."

"Double cheeseburgers don't make you fat, eating them does."

"Do you know Forest Gump's Facebook password? 1Forest1"

"Where do dogs go when they lose their tail? The retail store."

"Accordion to a recent study, switching the words of a sentence with a musical instrument often goes unnoticed. It's science."

"- Baby, I can't sleep. - And it was pissing you off that I could?"

"How do you call a bucket list created by a 16 year old? A Fuck It list."

"Wow, it's a beautiful day outside. I should probably do something. *closes the blinds so there isn't a glare on my screen* ~ Developers"