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Joke of the Day

"When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say ""thank you""? ...instead of all this ""how did you get in to my house?"" calling 9-11 business."

"If you're in an indoor shooting range and it starts burning down, what do you yell to warn everyone ?"

"How do you call a blond who has colored her hair to brown? Artificial intelligence!"

"Why is the cinematography of pornos so impressive? Because it's all done one handed."

"There was a Mexican boy born with two dicks. He named the first one Jose. What did he name the second one? Hose B"

"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear sir, Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage. Sincerely, your service provider."

"What does Putin say during his new years speech? Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!"

"If you don't pay your exorcist You get repossessed"

"How to Properly Jump a Car Attach a cable to the red positive lead, then beat the negative lead for being black."

"What's the difference between sand and period blood? You can't gargle sand."