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Joke of the Day

"What is the volume of a pizza of thickness A and radius Z? PI Z Z A"

"When geese fly in a ""V"" formation, do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side."

"I heard 80% of all accident happen within 10 miles of home. So I moved."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? His wife is dead."

"Why do we have to listen to a 45 second instructional to leave someone a voice mail? Beep, talk. We get it, condescending cell companies."

"Where is the lift? American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language."

"What are a Corporation's Favourite Letters? Capital I's"

"What do you have when lounge chairs multiply? - Baby Sitters. Two chaise... - that's Sofa King Funny!!"

"What is the capital of the United States? Half of what it was last week"

"[in church] ""And Jesus, our saviour, died on the cross for your sins."" [vicar points directly at me & entire congregation collectively nods]"