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Joke of the Day

"Stupid jokes I made at 3 in the morning. What do you call a Spanish man with erasers for toes? *Roberto* What do you call a Spanish man with no car? *Joaquin*"

"Who do ghosts worship? Boo, DUH!!!"

"I spent most of my money on beer and women. The rest I just wasted."

"What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? You can't hear a vitamin."

"Superman: "" I'm faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive"" Batman: I fight a penguin and this really persistent clown"

"Why do Jews like to watch porn backwards?? Cause they love the part when the hooker returns the money!"

"some penguins also can't fly because of their previous statements on Hamas and Afghanistan"

"ME: I was having a juice cleanse between 6 & 8 p.m COP: You don't need an alibi, you're not a suspect ME: I know, I'm just telling everyone"

"Cliff diving? No thanks. I get all of my near death thrills by rolling my eyes when my wife asks me to move my feet while she vacuums."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the restroom? The P is silent."