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Joke of the Day

"Who do ghosts worship? Boo, DUH!!!"

"A woman is watching the food channel... Her husband says: why are you watching this? You can't even cook! She replies: you watch porn all day long and I dont even say anything!"

"Why are Canadian Jews so poor? Because there are no pennies to pick up off the ground."

"""You look really pretty today,"" I said as I looked in the mirror, and my reflection replied, ""And you...um, you have a GREAT personality."""

"I'm 87% sure ""snooze button"" time is sped up and ""waiting for the microwave"" time is slowed down and this is not okay."

"I really enjoyed reading the Diary of Anne Frank Although I was disappointed it ended rather abruptly"

"What did the man do after being found guilty of sabotaging the moonmission? He Apollo-gized."

"132 LEGS AND 8 TEETH Q: What has 132 legs and 8 teeth? A: The front row of a Garth Brooks concert!"

"MAYOR'S TIP: before you spend 20 minutes blowing an air mattress, make sure it's really an air mattress, and not Gary hiding under a blanket"

"My dog got hit by a train today & we found out my brother didn't make parole. Talk about a case of the Mondays!!"