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Joke of the Day

"Cliff diving? No thanks. I get all of my near death thrills by rolling my eyes when my wife asks me to move my feet while she vacuums."

Next Joke
 
"Why did Al Gore have to schedule a dentist appointment? Because of an inconvenient tooth."
"I hear a woman with no legs just won the world strawberry picking competition. Jammy cunt"
"Why did the sand dune blush? Because the sea weed"
"What's Moby Dick's Dad's name? Papa Boner"
"After 10 missed calls in a row, I'm tempted to answer the phone just so I can find out who wants to be murdered."
"Some people like to stir the pot... ...I prefer to smoke it."
"I almost forgot. Happy 4/20. Lets not waste time, lets smoke weed."
"Everyone said it was a bad idea to store glue in the same cabinet as my rifles but I'm sticking to my guns."
"You know what really grinds my gears? Friction"