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Joke of the Day
"some penguins also can't fly because of their previous statements on Hamas and Afghanistan"
Next Joke
"[emailing eHarmony match] Her: describe yourself Me: brown hair, kinda stalky Her: lol you mean stocky Me [through her bedroom window]: No"
"What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's 20 of them."
"I think someone just called me a ""beach""... But I can't be shore."
"I'm leaving for London tomorrow. It's going to be really weird Tweeting from the left hand side of the road."
"I was mugged by an artist last night.... he drew a gun on me"
"Finally I found out how hashtags work #hashtag # hashtags #work #how #found"
"If you piss me off in the grocery store I will get in front of you in the checkout line and pay for a single tomato with a personal check."
"WHEN CATS ARE SAD Bartender: What'll ya have? Cat: Shot of rum. [Bartender pours it] [Cat slowly pushes it off the bar] Cat: Another."
"Why don't Greek people need sex? The government fucks them everyday!"