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Joke of the Day

"so a man comes into a bar........ Oh wait no it was a horse....... So a man comes into a horse.........."

"Practicing for my audition tape for ""MTV True Life: Let's go huff some fucking glue"""

"Cop: did you do it? Me: no Cop: you know it's truthful Tuesday right? Me: it's actually Wednesday Cop: damn it, who's your crush then"

"Thanks, spell check, that's what I meant: Edgar Allen Pie."

"So, a man with a baby newt on his head walks into a barber's... And says, ""Short back and sides, axolotl off the top."""

"If you love Batman, let him go, because Batman Returns."

"I'm calculating how much it would cost to install lights for a little league baseball field A ballpark estimate would be perfect"

"What do Zero and Nil have in common? Absolutely nothing"

"That moment of panic when you accidentally swipe left on Bae while getting food off your phone."

"What should you do with a burning Kotex? Throw it on the ground and tamp on it."