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Joke of the Day

"So, a man with a baby newt on his head walks into a barber's... And says, ""Short back and sides, axolotl off the top."""

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"How was the bird able to pass his math test? He was winging it."
"How did Jesus feel after the Romans killed him? He felt pretty cross."
"[*Wakes up on sofa] ""Did I...DID I HAVE A FIGHT WITH BATMAN?"" Wife [from bedroom]: ""YOU. PUNCHED. A. NUN."""
"Happy April Foo... ...oh shit"
"Does this subreddit like jokes about sodium? ""Na"""
"If a woman is cold as a fish, a man has to be as patient as a fisherman."
"What kinds of jokes do cats play on each other? Purranks."
"Brain walks into a bar. or maybe was his name Brian? No, it was like bill or brad or something. Anyways that dude had the best weed."