135973

Joke of the Day

"Practicing for my audition tape for ""MTV True Life: Let's go huff some fucking glue"""

"What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger."

"Funny, this warrant doesn't feel so outstanding."

"What did the German policeman say to his nipples? You are under a vest!"

"So a kid starts cussing in Social Studies class Another kid hears it and tells the teacher. Teacher confronts kid, saying ""Tom says you were swearing.."" Kid replies, ""That's fucking bullshit!"""

"How are asymptotes like women? You can get close to it, but you can't touch it"

"My ex dumped me because of my constant Linkin Park references. But in the end, it doesn't even matter."

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the ref was blowing fowls in the corner!"

"I got infatuated with a pizza. I thought it was just a *crust*. But damn, it was love at first *slice*"

"What did the hummingbird do to his girlfriend? He nectar!"