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Joke of the Day

"Do you know the difference between me and eggs? Eggs get laid."

"What is green and goes slam, slam, slam, slam? A four door pickle!"

"God: ""MOSES. THIS IS THE LORD. I HAVE NEWS FOR YOUR PEOPLE."" Moses: ""New burning bush. Who dis?"""

"What type of cheese is strong? Shredded cheese."

"If you told them they would be on TV, millions would sign up for ""So You Think You Can Survive the Vacuum of Space""."

"When people ask me why I got into drumming I always tell them it's because really enjoy beating off in front of crowds"

"It's not a nap if you never got out of bed."

"Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: for a totally legitimate reason Now start fucking laughing"

"My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy... so I got drunk."

"Blonde's Appendicitis A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, ""You have acute appendicitis."" The blonde says, ""That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."""