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Joke of the Day

"It's not a nap if you never got out of bed."

"Did you know that Iceland... ...is only one sea away from Ireland?"

"While texting a girl she told me ""I'm board"" so I stopped seeing her. I wasn't offended. I just don't date wood. Or people who can't spell."

"I heard a man at the beach yelling ""I can't swim!"" Well, I can't play the fucking Piano but am I bitching about it? Attention Whore..."

"What happens when your cousin eats all the Pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving? Plump kin!"

"Osama Bin Laden should have hid in MySpace"

"Knock Knock Who's there Daisy Daisy who Daisy me rollin', they hatin'"

"My girlfriend said it was either her or my obsession of showing people where doors are... ""Well, there's the door."""

"Some people might think being a gay man with a foot long dick is a good thing But it's just a huge pain in the ass for my boyfriend."

"Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms."