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Joke of the Day

"How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant? Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious..."

"What's better than roses around your piano? Tulips around your organ! Ba dum bum chhhhhhh."

"Why don't off duty police men fire grenades into children's cribs? If you're good at something never do it for free."

"I shot my first turkey today! But I scared the hell out of everyone in the meat section."

"Some days, my only goal that seems attainable is dying in a way so spectacular they name a new piece of protective legislation after me."

"Nice being home from work so I can finally continue sitting only now it's in a slightly more comfortable environment."

"How does a dishwasher make his money? Panhandling"

"So I went to an abstinence conference the other day... All we did was wait"

"I accidentally sent my essay to the 3D printer... it came out as a piece of shit"

"Created by Jews, saves humanity. Who, Jesus? No, dummy. Superman."