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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally sent my essay to the 3D printer... it came out as a piece of shit"

"How many men does it take to open a beer? None... It should be opened when she brings it to you."

"Someone stole all the toilets from the police station downtown. The cops have nothing to go on."

"The most disturbing joke that ever made me laugh. What's 20 inches long, has a purple head, and makes women scream?- Crib death."

"[NSFW] MY wife walked in on me fucking my daughter... I wasn't sure if she was surprised by the fact that I was fucking my daughter, or the fact that the abortion clinic gave me the fetus..."

"My wife is a sex object. Every time I want sex, she objects."

"LOL at the neighbor kids who didn't realize I keep my piranhas in the hot tub."

"What do Germans call a flying jew? Smoke."

"While visiting Ireland last year, a nice friendly old man said to me... ""Sir, if you ever come within a mile of my house, I hope you will stop there."""

"I'm really impressed with the enthusiasm of the workers getting Qatar ready for the World Cup They're dying to get the job done."