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Joke of the Day

"I was speaking to a black man the other day, when I said I suffered from Deuteranopia he asked 'Are you being racist?' I said 'no, I don't see colour'"

"When a man falls asleep next to me, I like to sniff his arm pit. Then he usually gets mad, I have to ride a different bus, it's a big mess."

"What is it called when a Roman gets really sick? Chicken Pox Romana"

"My beard has grown so much. It's time to ... shampoo."

"What is the digestive system? The digestive system is a system which starts with one hole and ends with one hole"

"I like my coffee the way I like my women... ... Pale and weak."

"There is a new drink at my bar. It's called a Sandy. It's basically a watered down Manhattan."

"[Bunch of 6 year olds knock on my door] ""TRICK OR TREAT!"" You kids are in for a real treat... *slips each of them a copy of my demo tape*"

"The swordsman thought he won his fight but in fact His opponent feinted"

"Don't forget to get offended today by some retarded shit that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever."