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Joke of the Day

"If life gives you melons, you might have dyslexia."

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"""Monday's suck"" - Everyone. Apart from Ethiopian kids. For whom, every day sucks"
"My son just explained how he wants to make a necklace out of my hair which is totally normal & doesn't at all concern & terrify me."
"My wife said sex with me is like enjoying a piece of Fruit Stripes gum... The best 3 seconds of her life."
"How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday? It's already run out of battery."
"How did the orphans in Oliver Twist communicate with each other? Through *more*se code!"
"Why did Walt Disney visit a mechanic? He wanted to get his Car tuned"
"What does a dominatrix say when she's late? ""Sorry I tied you up"""
"What did the mayonnaise say to the refridgerator? Close the door, I'm dressing!"
"What do you get if you cross a Phyllis with a Christine? A Philistine with two mommies ..."